Dad Beat Dead.com.
A site dedicated to the innocent victims of divorce, our Children, and the Dads who were beaten from the family unit.
|Goals of this site.|
With Positive Thoughts, Ken
We are media labeled deadbeat dads, a moniker we detest but are called nevertheless. Were the bad men, the negatives. The guys who split just so we didnt have to contribute to the displaced family, 80% of that displacement initiated by mothers. We are the ones who supposedly do not love or care about our children.
There are millions of us not like that at all. We are men who deeply love our children and who desperately want and deserve equal responsibility in raising, teaching and instilling positive values.
Yet we are out here in exile. We are silent. You can not see us. Were gone. The only face we have is on the Post Office wall alongside the FBIs 10 most wanted poster. We were disposed of and driven out by mothers who use children and the legal system beyond any sense of decency, justice or right. They practice a scorched earth policy where nothing is sacred. They hammer away until the last nail is in Dads coffin.
We were sucked dry. Moms got the children, possessions and the money. Money became the official language of custody. Even the word is offending, custody- the act or right of guarding. Guarding whom from whom? Money replaced dad. No money, no children, go directly to jail. Sit in jail until you pay. Being there in the first place because you can not pay. A catch-22. The other choice, leave. Hell of a choice. Either way we do not see our children. These moms dont care if they see dad or not.
We are becoming a Dadless Society. This country has a severe case of VD, vanishing dad. This disease is ravaging the fiber of society while infecting our children. We see more violence, less direction and more unwed mothers. When 50% of divorcing mothers state they do not want fathers involved in the raising of their children, then something is very very wrong. Our children are the ones that suffer the most. They pay for their parents mistakes. They should have a God given birthright to be nurtured equally by both parents.
Why has no one stepped forward and raised their voice? No one is examining the psychological damage to our childrens well being and future by not seeing dad. They see that you do not have to keep your word. You do not have to say what you mean or mean what you say. A fathers most important role is to instill positive values and live as an example of those values. It is as natural and nourishing as mothers milk.
Who decided that mothers should overwhelmingly be granted custody? They have come to believe children are theirs and theirs alone. They forget that life comes thru them and not from them. Until the early 1900s, men were always granted custody as head of the household. Now the pendulum has swung to the opposite extreme where it is assumed the mother is granted custody. Our society has excepted this belief and the courts have sanctioned it. The pendulum must swing back to center for the sake of our children and their natural evolution as parents.
Who decided Dads were no longer needed? We are reduced to non-essential roles in family. We are half of our children. Not a minority part but equal, 50/50. Children being raised by both parents are equality for them. That being accomplished by equally supporting and residing with the children, 50/50, a Dutch Doctrine.
There would be no more visiting fathers who have to pay money and make an appointment in order to see their own kids. Too simple? The divorce industry would probably react as the power companies did to solar power and the chemical companies to industrial hemp. The only criteria should be what is best for the children.
We must regain our voices and be heard again. Remove our faces from the Post Office wall. We as a nation are not talking about this national nightmare. Lets wake up and address this problem. We must come together and solved it.
We want back in. Let my factual account be an example of all that is wrong with divorce and custody.
This is a picture of my two youngest children. It was taken the last time I saw them, June 1996, when they were 3 ½ and 5 ½. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about them. What they look like, what they are learning, their experiences. How they are developing. And what they are being told about me.There is not a night that goes by without their two stuffed animals they slept with when they were with me, on my bed. I pray for the day when we can be together again and return them to their waiting arms. I love and miss them terribly.
My story typifies a Dad Beat Dead. Driven out and left homeless by two ex-wives who used our children and the legal system. Pursuing the ultimate goal of an arrest warrant and getting rid of dad. Then hiring a private investigator to hunt me down.
I have written a book, Dad Beat Dead, based on a factual journal I kept starting the day I was served divorce papers until leaving the country.
Part one deals with relational backgrounds, meeting wife #2, getting married and having two beautiful children. Working hard and providing, becoming successful then losing that success. Trying to recoup the success quickly by doing something stupid. Getting set up and then busted. Both of us going to prison while the children were shuffled around. Being released and fighting for simple visitation while systematically being alienating from the kids. Constantly hauled in and out of court. Then starting over one last time. Marrying wife #3, having two beautiful children, becoming successful again. Then wife #3 wanting to make it on her own while wanting the children, possessions and of course, the money
Part two is the journal. It details what was said and done on a daily basis and shows the effects to the children. How they were used. Their suffering. Clear evidence of Parental Alienation Syndrome by their mother. It contains all court documents, including reports from court appointed Guardian Ad Litum, Custody Evaluators and Psychologist, all women. Private Investigators reports. Created situations at home resulting in 13 police reports in 11 months. Teaming up with wife #2. Two women who hated each other. Wife #3 stating she never could do what wife #2 did to the kids and me. Wrong. They tagteamed me manipulating and alienating the children They succeeded in ruining my business while raiding all the possessions and leaving me homeless.
Part three starts with the first day of not seeing them and not knowing when Id see them again. Leaving the state while my family was harassed by a private investigator. Until I left the country. During this time I confirmed a lot of my observations and experiences by reading three books. Parental Alienation Syndrome by Dr. Richard Gardner. He states 90% of those who practice this syndrome are the mothers. Fatherless America by David Blankethorn. An in-depth study of the vanishing dad. And The Abolution of Marriage by Maggie Gallager. The damage done from the culture of divorce. It ends with the thoughts I had while leaving the country to an unknown future without my kids.
I have been querying publishers the traditional way for almost a year with no success. Plenty of comments. Alot saying that no one is going to publish anything that is remotely anti female. I am constantly contacting Children Rights Groups, Mens Rights Groups, columnist and talk shows to bring this subject matter to light.
I have received many e-mails from other dads , mothers of dads and new wives of divorced dads..
Same story. All asking who can help us. I am trying. Please lets help each other. I welcome all comments and will be posting them on this site to show the depth of our problems. My book will be available soon through this site.
With Positive Thoughts,
A Dad Beat Dead